Propaganda I Resist as a Liberation Oriented Individual & Relationship Therapist

As a relational & liberation oriented therapist, I find it important to name my values - for folks to decide whether our therapeutic work will be meaningful & supportive for them. I see potential clients as the expert of their own lives, so it matters whether or not they can feel safe with me with my authentic understanding of the world. While my beliefs and values don't take center stage in sessions, it helps me be aware of the relationship I can build with clients and the relationship they can build with me.

With that said, here are a list of "propaganda I resist", as a liberation oriented individual & relationship therapist. I'll also name that this list by no means is complete nor has been generated over a small time, but rather has been and will continue to evolve. I am evolVING just like you.

As always, feel free to comment your thoughts in a respectful manner or join me for a consultation to assess whether we can make a great team in supporting your emotional & mental health needs.

• “Neutrality” is therapeutic

• Therapy isn’t/ shouldn’t be political 

• Self-disclosure is dangerous 

• Colonization is good /helpful 

• Anger is bad/ negative emotion

• Pride is enough activism 

• Coming out should be the goal

• Queerness is only about sexuality about who you f***

• Boycotting is useless 

• Convos on heteronormativity only belongs in straight relationships 

• You need to be securely attached before intimate relationships 

• You can regulate your way out of relational harm

• You have to forgive to heal

• Conscious parenting = permissive parenting

• “Reparent yourself or Inner child work” means do it alone

• White supremacy doesn’t exist 

• Toxic positivity 

• Healing means forgiving your perpetrator

• Internalized misogyny is a personal issue, not a political one

• No such thing as survivals guilt

• Reverse racism is a thing

• Disappointment means your expectations were too high

• Talking about feelings = confrontation 

• Breakups are serious, but friendship breakups are “just part of life.”

• Naming Zionism, settler colonialism, or white supremacy = breaking ethical codes

• Therapy is the most important trauma treatment (not ceremony, not protest, not art, not kinship)

• Trauma work can only be done within therapy sessions

• CBT is the most reliable and best form of therapy for all

• Your trauma responses are the problem, not the conditions that created them.

• If therapy client is “too activated” by genocide, they need grounding and minimizing of emotions 

• “At least…” is a therapeutic tool; e.g."At least you didn't loose both parents"

• Calling in = calling out 

• Your grief is too loud

• Emotional labor in friendships is toxic

• No one owes you anything

• Self-abandonment is just low self-esteem (not gendered survival)

• Your tone is the real problem, so we should tone police (especially BIPOC)

• Bodies should be commented on 

• You won’t be triggered if you are healed 

• Hurt people hurt people 

• Discipline is love 

• All feminists think the same / all feminism has the same goals

• Codependency is pathology—not adaptation

• Trauma bonds are your fault—not a survival strategy

• Boundaries are disrespect or harm 

• Systems are fixed and unchangeable 

• Power over people 

• Parenthood automatically guarantees respect and love and admiration 

• Children show obey and quiet their needs 

• Therapists can’t have politics—just ethics

• Vague “self-care” heals burnout 

• Burnout is a self-care issue, not a structural \systemic one.

• Healing = hyper-individual, private, paid for, and quiet.

What are your thoughts? Have I riled something up in you?

I encourage you to just notice.

Lovingly,

Jansu